Gone
by Dance Elle Dance
Summary: And yet now it feels as if she saved his life only to be the one, in the end, to take it away. RayFelicity, mentions of OliverFelicity, set during 3x18, oneshot


_**Disclaimer:**_ _I don't own Arrow._

 _ **Summary:**_ _ **And yet now it feels as if she saved**_ ** _h_** _ ** _is_ life only to be the one, in the end, to take it away.**_ _**RayFelicity, mentions of OliverFelicity, set during 3x18, oneshot**_

 _My first Arrow fanfic! I figured, it's a new year so why not start with a new fandom? Not really sure why I picked Raylicity for my first fic, probably because they are incredibly adorable and incredibly underrepresented in this fandom. And Ray breaks my heart and I love him so. Don't get me wrong, I love Olicity and will write them at some point, but I wanted to test the waters with this little ficlet first. It's very short but I hope y'all enjoy!_

* * *

 **Gone**

* * *

A part of him - a very foolish part, but a part nonetheless - thought that maybe things could be different.

Ray Palmer is by no means stupid. A little naive, but by no means is he stupid.

Someone once said to him that love _makes_ you stupid. So, maybe he is just afflicted with stupidity at this moment, as he was when he first set eyes on Felicity Smoak. It was hard not to fall in complete, stupid love with her, with her soft hair and big eyes and witty quips and awkward one-liners.

He had once thought himself incapable of loving anyone else, after what happened, but now he finds himself in that very position.

He tells her he loves her, lying in a hospital bed, feeling more vulnerable than ever before. The words just spill out and she looks as if he had told her something horrible, like the words were filthy, like the most unspeakable thought in human history.

She stutters and trudges her way through a few horribly uncouth sentences and then bolts.

The sting is almost a physical blow; it leaves him breathless just as one would.

He can only watch her as she leaves, baffled, chest stinging.

She saved his life, many times over. She saved his life by injecting his tech into his bloodstream, by being brave enough to do so. She saved his life with her smiles, with her intellect. She saved his life by being herself.

And yet now it feels as if she saved it only to be the one, in the end, to take it away.

Ray chuckles to himself at the thought, labeling himself quite silly, almost on the level of "overly emotional teenager." He runs a large hand over his face and sighs, the sound of beeping monitors in his ears, the smell of hospital antiseptic in his nose. The cold of the room seems even colder, the blinking lights almost mocking him in his plight.

He tries to reason it out with himself. Maybe she is just frightened of those words; it wouldn't be the first time a girl has found herself flustered in that manner, but it was the first time a girl has fled from him, after completely ignoring the words entirely.

Has she been burned that badly in the past? He knew a small fraction of her past relationships, the one serious one in college that almost broke her. He knew that she loved Cooper dearly. But it couldn't be that one, could it?

No, this was a fresher wound, raw and ragged at the edges, one more intimate, one more personal, one with so much grief it strangled her.

 _Oliver._

Ray's eyes widen at the name as it floats through his thoughts, unbidden, almost like a ghost. He's not sure where it came from, but it _does_ make sense - it makes _too_ much sense, if he is to be honest with himself.

He leans back into the starchy pillows, hearing the cheap fabric brush against his skin. The name now ping-pongs through his thoughts, along with hers, along with, _It makes sense, more than you and her, it makes sense, it makes sense..._

A great sigh heaves itself from his chest, the sound almost obscenely loud in the utter stillness of the room.

Even though this wasn't the end of the relationship - far from it, if Ray has anything to do with it - he can't help but smile bitterly at his situation.

"Maybe I really am a fool," he breathes, turning his head to look out the window.

The city lights remind him of her eyes.

* * *

 _ **End.**_


End file.
